Sorry.

The other day I was traveling back to Cebu from a day of work in Manila. I got in the check-in line to get my boarding pass, but the line wasn't moving at all. At each of the seven counters the person was staring blankly at the screen. Each counter had a "trainer" helping the person. The trainers were also unable to understand what was going on. I learned later that Philippine Airlines was putting in a new computer system. Unfortunately, they hadn't done any training, even of their management people, so it was a big fiasco. I was afraid that I would miss my flight, so I made an inquiry, and I got snapped at by the person in charge. Nobody ever apologized about the poor service and the interminable wait.

When we arrived in Cebu the plane was taxiing to the gate, but it stopped and we sat there. And waited. For 35 minutes. The pilot made one announcement about another plane being in our spot. Then nothing more. No apology for making us wait so long.

It used to be that the service industries, at least, would offer apologies to try and placate their customers. It seems that this is changing. But I think it is  more difficult for people, in general, to say they are sorry for anything. Maybe it is a bi-product of our litiguous times, when any admission of guilt or culpability seems like a prescription for a lawsuit. Insurance companies tell us that if we have an accident we are to keep our mouths closed and admit nothing. When I sit in an aisle seat in the exit row, a lot of people pass by me on their way to the bathrooms. I routinely get bumped or tripped over. Sometimes I get hit pretty hard. Rarely, if ever, do I get an apology, even from the flight attendants. Recently a guy was getting something out of the overhead bin and it fell on my head, opening up a gash. Did I get a "sorry?"  Nope. It was like it never happened. Why did I have to be sitting there at that exact moment, any way?

As we become more and more self-indulgent as a society, we become less polite and less kind. Less likely to admit guilt. Less likely to admit guilt or say we are sorry.

A common response to this type of thinking goes like this: "Why should I say I'm sorry when I'm not? That's hypocritical." True. But I think the point is that God would want us to feel sorry if we bother, hurt or inconvenience someone else. "Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another." Theologian Albert Barnes writes that "Christianity produces true courteousness, or politeness. It does not make one rough, crabby, or sour; nor does it dispose its followers to violate the proper rules of social contact. The secret of true politeness is "benevolence," or a desire to make others happy; and a Christian should be the most polite of people. There is no religion in a sour, misanthropic temper; none in rudeness, stiffness, and repulsiveness; none in violating the rules of good breeding." If we focus on kindness in our dealings with others, we can avoid what Barnes refers to as  "hollow-hearted politeness." Our courtesy, our saying "sorry" is to be the result of love, good will and a yearning for the happiness of all others.

Of course, the other part of the verse I started above finishes the thought. "Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave.: Eph. 4:32.  That's the hard part because, even if I've been hurt, delayed, wounded, angered or annoyed, even if a person so obviously in the wrong fails to acknowledge their negative actions and say "sorry," I need to forgive that person. I need to forgive Philippine Airlines, not just as an institution, but each person who I dealt with. That's tough stuff. And if I fail to do this I should be the one saying "sorry" to them!

There is a hollow-hearted politeness, indeed, which the Christian is not to aim at or copy. His politeness is to be based on "kindness;" His courtesy is to be the result of love, good-will, and a desire of the happiness of all others; and this will prompt to the kind of conduct that will render her conversation with others agreeable and profitable.

Anti-numbness

Sometimes I need to pray for God to prevent me from becoming numb. I confess to feeling that way lately. The poverty in the Philippines is overwhelming, and the needs are so significant and pervasive. Every day lately I have become aware of heart-wrenching need and desperation that involves people who are very close to me. Most people here don't have health insurance and those that do find it lacking in meeting the needs of their families. Just in the past week I've been approached for help, either personally or in behalf of CSC, for medicines for heart .disease, treatment for broken bones, the need for kidney dialysis, eye surgery, cesaerean delivery and several other crucial needs.

Each of these involves people who feel desperate. Some have nowhere else to go for help. Almost every day, and sometimes more than once a day I hear these stories and have to make decisions about using personal or ministry funds for these needs. Often these are life and death matters. Sometimes I feel weary and often I wonder if feeling numb is just a defense mechanism that my mind, or my heart, uses to allow myself to be able to deal with all of the emotion surrounding these needs. Sometimes I do feel like I'm numb. But I don't want to be.  I want to be compassionate and overflowing with kindness and mercy. Even if the limitations of personal and ministry resources prevent me from responding as I'd like to, I want to be concerned and prayerful.

Here are some of the manifestations of numbness that I have seen in others, but, in a more troubling way, in myself:

-  You tend to feel annoyed that people are taking up your time and invading your schedule with requests for help. I always have to remind myself that, for the desperate person asking for help, nothing is as important as that moment. Although most of the people who approach me would not want to annoy me, they are willing to run that risk for the burden that they bear.

-  You start to think that this particular situation is just like another that you heard about or dealt with. Of course, its not true. No two situations are the same. Each has distinct people involved, and each case touches individuals and families in unique ways. It never helps a person in need to know that someone else was already in my office with a similar need.

-  You start to think of things to say before you've even heard the story. You might end up not really listening to anything. You try to shield yourself from the emotion or the tears by putting up a barrier.
Sometimes that barrier might be a kind of blaming game: Hey, they should have prepared for this kind of need. Why didn't they save money?


I don't want to be that way. I want to let the Holy Spirit lead me. I want discernment to know the ways that I should respond to the needs I am shown. I want to be willing, like the Good Samaritan, to respond to needs in a loving, compassionate and kind way. I want to avoid blaming, lumping and annoyance.  I don't want to be numb.

Please pray for Marlys and me, and the rest of the CSC staff as we strive to do share Christ with the needy people around us.

On Reunions

I was a part of two reunions in recent days. One I attended, and the other I was involved with online. The one I could not physically attend was my 40th high school reunion in St. Paul. Our class has a Facebook page, so I was in on the pre-reunion stuff, the planning and the efforts to find our classmates. The one I attended was a gathering of the people who were our neighbors and friends when we started the ministry: the Bulacao crowd. These were our first friends, the people we helped when we arrived in Cebu in 1979. Together we formed what later became the Bulacao Evangelical Free Church.

Both reunions were enjoyable and, at the same time, somewhat haunting. The Murray High School class of 72 is a great bunch of people. It was interesting to see, through Facebook posts, where people ended up, how they have or have not stayed connected, and what their memories of our high school years are. These are people that spent years together in school and there is a bond that exists that is hard to explain. Reports from the affair talk about a great time, where people stayed on and didn't want to go home. Some stayed until 3:00 am.

The haunting part came when somebody posted a list of our classmates who have died since 1972. The list was longer than I expected. Since I live on the other side of the world from St. Paul, I hadn't heard about many of these passings, so there were several surprises. One name leapt off the page at me, and left me feeling sad and ashamed. This guy had only gone to our school for a couple years, as I remember. He had a major speech impediment. He was a nice guy but he could not talk. I don't remember that he had any friends at Murray. I don't know if we made fun of him - probably, knowing how mean young people can be and how peer pressure and personal insecurities can combine in awful ways. To be sure, he wasn't a part of any group. Maybe we just didn't feel that he was as cool as we were. (We weren't all that cool but we thought we were!) For whatever reason, he was shut out. I've been thinking about him for the past few days since the reunion. Why couldn't I have stepped out of the crowd and been a friend to him? What effects did the things we said and did have on him? How would his life have been different if high school had been a positive experience for him, with friends and activities and inclusion. Maybe even one person (Paul Healy) could have made a difference. Now that I'm older I wonder about his parents, and how they must have felt, longing that he could have had friends or some kind of normal experiences. I can imagine how they felt if they knew kids were mean to their son. Haunting.

At the Bulacao reunion there was also a time for reflection. Some of the people in our initial group have died or moved away. I wonder if there was more that we could have done to help some of these people, either in meeting their physical needs or in letting them know better the love of God in Jesus. Were we too busy to recognize their needs? How did those years impact their lives and where do they stand with God? Questions.

I am aware that, for some people, high school was the worst time in their lives. That wasn't true for me, but I am sure that some stay away from reunions because of those negative memories. We had an evening to honor one of our basketball coaches a few years ago and I was shocked by the number of guys who would not come because they held 30 year grudges against the coach for not playing them enough.  Maybe that's just the nature of reunions; some will show up and have a good time, others will stay away.

For me, I am acutely aware that I cannot change the things that I did or didn't do in the past to classmates, churchmates or others I came in contact with. The best I can do is to try my best to be aware of needs around me today, to treat people with dignity and love, and to encourage others to do the same. In an age when being like the crowd and being cool is as strong or stronger than when I was young, that is a difficult task, but I believe it is what Jesus would have us do: Love the unlovely; reach out to the lonely, and be a friend to the friendless.

To Tweet or not to Tweet

We are having a Tweeting debate at CSC these days. Although we do not have a CSC Twitter account, there is some talk about the need to go in that directions in the future. We have decided to put an emphasis on getting the word of the ministry out through Facebook and our CSC website. We want to do that better, to put the message out in ways that will be favorably received. The whole world of "Likes" and "comments" and "hits" has come to CSC. We want to do it in a quality way, not flooding people with information, but realizing that many enjoy regular updates.

Bjork Ostrom is our man. He is an expert on social media and is dragging us (at least some of us), kicking and screaming into the modern age. People go to Facebook often. People read blogs. People respond to pictures and videos. Why shouldn't we use these tools to get people thinking about CSC?

But Twitter? I confess to having a bad attitude about that. In fact, I have been known to lampoon people who offer unsolicited personal information by offering up a "Tweeeeeeet" call. People laugh, often nervously, when I do that. They know I'm a dinasour, and my "tweeeeting" does nothing to curtail their verbal status updates or their use of Twitter to let their following public know what they're doing or thinking.

Maybe I'm way off. Maybe, come to think of it, this blog is a type of "tweet" in and of itself. It is certainly an unsolicited opinion. But its different, too. Hopefully, I don't use this forum simply to draw attention to myself, (where I'm going to eat; what I'm doing this weekend, etc.) but to highlight an issue or event that is important to CSC, and for which I might have an insight or an opinion.

Anyway, we are thinking about Twitter as a way to bring the day to day activities, prayer requests and important issues to people who may want to know about them. I'm kicking. I'm screaming. Help me out!

What a day!

Our days are always full here in Cebu but today was especially fun. We are trying to make some decisions about admitting children to CSC now that we have some vacancies. So our social workers, child care team and nurses are trying to see the referred children and make some assessments about them. This involves lots of things: visiting them in the hospital; doing blood tests on the mothers and scheduling medical exams and additional tests. Carmelita, our head social worker, had clients dropping in all day, needing answers to questions and presenting her with their problems. Sometimes these folks have an appointment, but often they don't.

This morning a woman showed up with her three month-old baby which had been brought to Cebu from another island. Later the mother of a teenager who had give birth to one of our kids came with some financial needs. Another meeting with a birth mother that involves a very complicated situation with her child's birth certificate is scheduled for later in the afternoon. Just after lunch we had a meeting of the admission team: nurses, social workers, child care team and counselors. We talked about all the different referrals and came up with some priorities for admission and decided in which house each would be placed.

In the midst of all of this, children are brought to doctors, teachers teach, bills are paid, reports are written, meals are cooked, facilities are cleaned, counselors counsel and the children are supervised on the playground. Today we have seven children who are isolated in our infirmary with sore throats and fevers. This means that extra workers need to be scheduled and others will work overtime. One of our boys had major dental work done today so one of our child care workers needed to go with him. Our driver, Edwin, was scurrying to pick up kids, deliver workers and bring delivered items to the homes.

Luckily, we have a hard working staff that consists of people who are willing to work hard and can handle the stress of a day like today. There are lots of days like today, and when we wake up in the morning we never know exactly what the day will bring. Such is the life of those who work with children.

When I was younger, a day like today didn't seem to be tiring at all. Another meeting? Bring it on. Need to run across town on an errand? No sweat. Reports due today? I'll finish them up straightaway and get them in the mail. Go to Manila for a meeting or matching? When do I leave?

But I'm starting to feel my age. I sometimes get tired keeping up with all the activity at CSC. And even though there are lots of people to cover the various tasks that need to be done in a day, I still am amazed at the number of decisions that need to be made, and the increased complexity of leading this ministry. Its a real blessing, though, and we have a wonderful life here in Cebu. And days like today make us understand the importance of our work and the roles that everyone play in making things work here in Cebu.

Father to the Fatherless

The theme for our banquet this year will be Father to the Fatherless. Of course, that describes our Heavenly Father and his role in the lives of his children. But at CSC, it has an additional meaning. We have some very dedicated, loving and compassionate men working here who have taken on the fatherly role for children who have lost their biological fathers. Some of their fathers died, some just left them. Some were loving, but most were absent or abusive. Most of the kids that come to live with us have had a very bad experience with their father.

CSC plays a crucially important role for these kids in three ways. First, we try to restore trust. At CSC they have subsitute father images who offer understanding, acceptance and loving discipline - something most of our children have never experienced. Our desire is to stop the cycle of abuse and neglect in our children's lives, and it often starts with the love of a CSC father, either a house father, or a staff member.

Secondly, we are preparing many of our children to be able to accept the love of an adoptive father once they are placed. That might sound a little simpler than it actually is. They need to learn about expectations, and learn to accept that they will be loved and not abandoned by the next father in their lives. They need to observe good, Christian men who, though far from perfect, are doing their best to follow biblical patterns for their lives and for their parenting of their own children and the CSC kids.

The third way that the fathers of CSC impact our children is helping teaching them, through their example, about the unconditional love of their Heavenly Father. This is crucial for them. They need to be able to love God, to experience his love for them and to accept his gift of salvation. Those kids who have experienced the anger, violence and lack of acceptance from an earthly father might have a problem with the portrayal of God as a loving Heavenly Dad. If we are doing our job well at CSC, we can be giving them a different way of thinking about what a dad is.

We look forward to developing this exciting theme at our banquet on April 28th at Bethel University.

But for the Grace of God

Last night, while driving back from the south of Cebu island where I had visited the CSC kids at camp, I almost hit three women who were standing in the middle of the road. It was very dark, there were bright headlights in my eyes, and I didn't see them until it was almost too late. I swerved and barely missed them.

This morning when I woke up I thought about how different my life would be today if I had hit them. Almost certainly they would have been killed. I would have been put in jail until the police could determine fault, and it is fairly likely that, even though they were in the road in the dark, I would have been blamed. So, aside from the huge emotional blow of having hit and killed three people, I would have needed to pay a huge amount of money. My life would have been turned upside down. I would have a terrible memory to live with for the rest of my life. My life, my family and the ministry of CSC would have been affected significantly, not to mention the families of those women. I am so very thankful that I didn't hit them!

I think its true that our lives are full of "close call" experiences, choices and events that, had they gone a different way, would have changed the direction and quality of our lives or those of other people. Maybe it was a fork in the road where you needed to make a decision about your future, like taking a job, entering a relationship or making a change. Maybe it was something small, like choosing a class in college that opened up your mind to information or challenges that led you to choose a particular career. Maybe it was a bad choice that you avoided, something that would have dragged you down or put you on a path of misery. Perhaps it was a near miss like my experience on the road last night. Or it could be that something bad did happen, and we think about how much better our lives would be if it hadn't.

I wonder about why God chooses to intervene sometimes, and other times He does not. I guess its similar to the question that is raised in the song "God Help the Outcasts" in the Hunchback of Notre Dame:

I don't know if there's a reason

Why some are blessed, some not

Why the few You seem to favor

They fear us, flee us, try not to see us.

I'm not sure that I'll ever get an answer to the whys of this question. One part of dealing with this dilemma is to be thankful to God for the things He did spare us, and for the grace He gives to help deal with difficult things that do happen, whether they are of our own making or not. The second part is developing our compassion and grace in relating to those who have to deal with the results of tragedies. The key is to remember, with D. L. Moody, the reality that that person, but for the grace of God, is me.

Viola

I have been thinking about Immanuel lately. We use that name a lot during the Advent season, in our scripture readings and Christmas carols. We think of the amazing way that God revealed himself and his presence and nearness through the incarnation. I was thinking, too, of the message of Immanuel that Jesus gave us at the end of his earthly ministry when He proclaimed, "I am with you always, even to the end of the earth."

There are other manifestations of Immanuel that we experience regularly. God is near to us in the lives and needs of those around us. The story of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25: 31ff shows us that in feeding the hungry and in visiting the sick and lonely, we are experiencing Christ. In the Philippines we feel this closeness in daily ways as we reach out to the homeless children that need a place to live and people to love them. We see the face of Jesus in their faces, and it is a great comfort and blessing to us.

But there are other ways that God reveals himself, his nature and his closeness to us. We see him in the lives of saintly people around us. We experience him in community. Yesterday I learned that Viola Carlson, a pillar of our church and one of the finest persons I have ever known, passed away. I think she was 92. She was kind, loving, supportive and faithful. She would come up to me in the church lobby and ask a question about one of our children whom she had been praying for. She wanted updates and reports of answered prayer. She was a pillar of CSC, too, bringing our ministry to the throne of grace regularly. In her life we experienced the nearness of God. Immanuel.

2011

I know that many people are glad that 2011 is gone. They had a bad year and are hoping that 2012 will be better. Many people lost their jobs, or lost their homes to foreclosure, typhoons, hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes. As I was working on CSC's year-end video with highlights of the past year, I did some searches on the top news stories of 2011 and the results were pretty grim. Charitable giving, in general, has been fairly stale in America with marginal gains over last year, but 2010 was not a good year for giving. Many churches and ministries continue to struggle financially.

In this climate of economic uncertainty and man made and natural calamities, CSC celebrates 2011. It was a good year for the ministry in many ways. Although there were heartbreaks and emotional issues to deal with, and painful decisions to be made here in Cebu concerning some of our kids, God as here. We placed the most number of kids in our history. Two large sibling groups that have been waiting so long were placed, thanks to legislative initiatives and the heroic work of our Senator Amy Klobuchar. Kids found homes, new ones came in. New staff came on board. Plans were made on our board to improve our organization and position ourselves better for the challenges and opportunities of the future. And, once again, our supporters came through in record fashion, giving generously.

Rather than show charts that compare the number of children served or those placed with last year, or a compartive giving chart, I'll tell about Ginda, and how 2011 was a great year for her. At Christmas time in 2010, Ginda was fighting for her life. She was in the hospital and had been for many weeks. She had surgery and was not doing well. She lost lots of weight and, most notably, her smile was gone. For a while we feared for her life. But 2011 brought lots of improvement for Ginda. She responded to medications. A feeding tube was necessary for her, and she slowly adjusted to that type of nourishment. Ginda began gaining weight. Slowly her smile returned.

Yesterday a group of visitors from Cambridge, MN arrived in Cebu. Some of them had been here before, so they remembered Ginda. As we were eating in the Duterte Home, Ginda was wheeled into the room. Everyone greeted her warmly and she rewarded them with a huge smile. Later her auntie (Ginda requires a personal caregiver) brought out her dollie and her brand new toy cell phone. She and I had a quick cell phone conversation and I reflected on what a huge difference a year had made for Ginda. And for so many of our kids. Her smile is the only reward that the staff needs for all the hours of worry, hospital visitation and medical intervention.

In the Gap

The other night we asked some friends to come to Banawa and help us pray for our children. There have been some challenging behavioral issues with some of the children in recent weeks. We felt like we needed to ask for healing, release and cleansing for all of our kids, and for our facilities, and for strength and wisdom for our workers.

We only asked people who are close to the ministry to join us. It was so encouraging to us that we had a group of 20 people praying that night. We went around the CSC compound to every room in each house.

Before we prayed I told our friends that praying for our children is something that we do as parents, almost without thinking about it. But our CSC kids do not have parents, so the staff and workers "stand in the gap" left by parents who abandoned, surrendered or neglected them, or who died or were too sick to care for them. Sometimes it is a big gap. Some of these kids have very deep hurts from abuse and neglect. Some suffer from fears and bad thoughts. What a joy it was to welcome others into the "gap" to pray for these precious kids.

We have a lot of faithful supporters who live far from the Philippines, but who still take the time and effort to pray for our CSC children. They can't join a Sunday night prayer meeting at the Shelter, but they bring the needs of ouf kids to the throne of grace. They join our staff and friends here in Cebu, standing in the gap for the kids that God brings into CSC.

Nothing could be cooler than that! Please, keep praying for protection and release for our kids.

Marlys on Jacob

I was reviewing the case of little Jacob with Angelie, one of our medical staff, for a report that needs to be made, and hearing about it in greater detail was even more disturbing than what we had heard before. The parents were drug addicts and drunkards, and they beat him nearly to death. The chest x-ray reveals that he had a broken clavicle that the doctor thinks must have been from a blunt blow to his body. He had a fever in the hospital of 106 but the doctor in charge would not give any medication to bring down the fever. He told Angelie to simply wrap him in a warm blanket as he had the worst chills she had ever seen. It went on for a couple of days and she thought he would perish from the shaking. It was heart wrenching that he was calling for his mother at that time. Jacob was living in an area south of the city where there are many horrible things taking place, such as witch craft, and lots of crime. Around 4 am one day dogs were barking uncontrollably but the people in the area were too afraid to go and look so they called the police. When they got to the area there was 3 year-old Jacob lying in a crumpled heap on the ground. He had been thrown over a wall outside of a compound. He had many open wounds and burns that the parents inflicted on him. There were dogs licking his wounds, which could also be a problem, as rabies is rampant here. In fact, a person can get exposed to it and not get sick with it for many years to come so we may still need to give him rabies shots. He has scars on his head that look like he had been cut with a sharp object. He was taken to the government hospital but was all alone there so nobody fed him the whole time he was there. Basically, nobody cared about him. That is when we received the referral. When Angelie picked him up to transfer him to Cebu Doctors hospital, he was skin and bones, and extremely weak. He almost went crazy when he saw food. The doctor told her to give him something to eat and he grabbed it and shoved in to his mouth so fast that he almost choked. When he drank he tapped the bottom of the glass to get every drop out. Thankfully, he is recovering slowly but surely physically, but we wonder how he will be affected emotionally for years to come. The parents were also cruel to his brother Joseph. The sister was the mother's favorite so she didn't suffer like her brothers. All three of them are at CSC. The parents are in jail, so they will never hurt those children again. Thankfully, Jacob and his siblings will never go hungry again, nor will they ever suffer the physical pain of torture and abuse. We pray for wisdom in figuring out the extent of the damage that was done to those precious children. Angelie just informed me that the mother recently gave birth again, and the baby is living with a grandmother.

Remembering Luker

October 31 to November 2 is All Saints Day and All Souls Day in the Philippines. It is also known as "Araw ng mga Patay", "Día de los Muertos" (Day of the Dead) or "Undas". During All Saints and Souls Day, friends and families visit the cemeteries, and pay homage to their dearly departed. The cemetery takes on a party atmosphere, and the holiday is often festive rather than a solemn celebration. Families return to their respective provinces to clean and repair the tombs of their deceased loved ones, and to pay their respects.

Although I do not embrace all of the beliefs surrounding these holidays, I think it is good to remember the lives of those who went before us. Today I've been thinking about Luke, who lived at CSC for 23 years before he died several years ago. Luke was born in 1982 in a charity ward of a small hospital in Cebu. His heart stopped beating during birth and he was born with massive brain damage. He lived his life at CSC without ever having voluntary movement of his arms or legs. He never said a word nor was he able to walk. He lived in the nursery most of his life, and in a seperate isolation room for the past few years.

Luke was a superstar at CSC. His smile could transform people's moods. He struggled to breathe for much of his life, spending months in hospitals. But he taught us so much and we loved him so. I remember him as a person who clung to life even though life was such a difficult proposition for him. The cares and problems of my life always seemed so small and insignificant when I spent time with Luke. Oh, how I miss his smile.

I delivered a sermon on several occasions following Luke's death. It was published in the Baptist Pietist Clarion in May of 2008. I include it here because I think that Luke's life was important for all of us to reflect on. He was a teacher. A minister even. He was one of the great persons I have known in my life. I consider him a Saint, so let's think about Luke during All Saints Day!

http://www.cscshelter.org/shared/lukesermon.pdf

A Panorama of Blessings

I was "on duty" the other night in the Eicher Home, reading with the kids and praying with them before they went to bed. After they hit the sack I spent a few quiet moments sitting upstairs just looking around and reflecting on God's goodness. There are so many reminders in that home of his love and provision. There are several cross stiches on the walls, given lovingly by Marie Hagfors. Marie is the grandmother of Lindsay Hoeft, who is working here for a year. Marie made more than 40 of these works of arts for all our homes. In the corner is a large mobile made by visitors Nancy Thielen, Becky Hallstrom and Mary Mork a couple years ago. On the bookshelves are many volumes, all sent to us by thoughtful friends in the U.S., Singapore, Hong Kong and Canada. Some of the kids were playing with puzzles and board games, all of which came over in boxes from the States, compliments of friends of CSC. Several of the kids were wearing tee-shirts with Cherry Hills Community Church (one of our faithful supporting churches) on the back. Every part of that home, and our other residences, has the mark of our supporters on it and in it.

As I was getting ready to pray with the kids I inquired about who we should pray for. Some mentioned the sick kids or the staff or their birth families. One girl said, "supporters!" Our kids know that there are people behind all of the good things that they enjoy. We talk to them about all of you and encourage them to thank God for you and what you mean in their lives. For tee-shirts, art work, books, food, medicine....everything that they have here at CSC.

We really want to raise children and young adults who are thankful people.

As I was praying

Arman

Last year I wrote about a homeless guy who was living outside the wall that surrounds our house.
http://thehealyblog.blogspot.com/2010/06/somewhere-out-there.html

He just showed up one day and started living there. He never hassled anyone. But he bothered me. I still think about him when I pull my car up to the curb near where he would sleep. I wonder if he has reconnected with his family in Mindanao, and if he is feeling safe and secure.

His name was Arman. I suppose he made me feel uncomfortable because he was a symbol of poverty and the ravages that it inflicts on people. He wasn't a category or a statistic. He was Arman, and he was outside our wall while I was comfortably inside the house. In many ways he was everything that I wasn't - homeless, desperately poor, hungry, without hope. Every day he would wake with a blank slate. There was no money or food or job prospects to carry over for the new day. But it wasn't really a blank slate, because the hunger would carry over and the despair would accumulate. But he would greet me with a smile when I'd park near his cardboard bed roll. It would probably have been easier for me if he was beligerent or demanding or posed a threat to me or my family. I could have called the police and had him taken someplace else. His smile and his total poverty haunted me, and continues to bother me as I reflect on Arman. As I mentioned in last year's blog, we helped him get a ticket for a boat back to the province in Mindanao where he told us he was from. Did I do that primarily just to get him out of my sight and lessen my guilt? Was there more I should have done to help him while he was here?

The issue of dealing with poverty is an every day thing here in the Philippines. You can't escape it. Beggars confront you while you drive through the city. Often it will be a young girl with a baby on her hip. I drive to the Shelter and pass people who cannot afford public transportation, so they walk. I buy medicine for my family and outside the pharmacy are people who are sick and dying for lack of that same medicine. I sit down to eat knowing there are hungry people going without lunch. I sleep in my comfortable bed while Arman and the thousands of other Armans curl up on a piece of cardboard.

I hope you are not expecting that this blog will have the answer here. I don't know why some people have to suffer and I don't. No speaker or author has answered that question for me in my 57 years of life. And I confess to being more than a little numb to the realities of life for the poor. Maybe I'm just not really willing to share my bounty. I can always hide behind my job, telling myself that I'm doing a lot to help homeless kids and prevent other Armans being on the street. Or I can just ignore the needy people all around me. The needs of Arman confronted me because he came to my house to sleep, and I was forced to deal with him and look him in the eyes and experience his poverty.

I don't think that I'll ever forget Arman. I think that is a good thing. Maybe we all need to live with an Arman in our head, reminding us of the desperate needs around us and the disparity that exists. Jesus did not isolate himself from the Armans of his day. As a man, He was limited in his access to the needs of all the poor people. But to those He confronted or that confronted him, He offered something. Maybe it wasn't always what they wanted but it was something they needed. Maybe Jesus knows our emotional and spiritual limitations, and the Holy Spirit's work in our lives is to move us with compassion for those that He selects for us to help. Maybe that's why out of the crowd, Arman stepped into my life.

Chorus of the Needy

I was working in the office this afternoon when I got a text message from Marlys. She mentioned that there was terrible flooding in Manila with several new deaths and incredible loss of property. I clicked on the MSN home page, but nothing was there. Lots about celebrity dating, football scores, Lady Gaga sightings, and bizarre dance steps, but nothing about Manila. Maybe the death toll needs to get higher before it makes the news. Maybe there have been so many natural disasters this year that nobody really cares any more. Maybe the sight of people walking through armpit high water carrying a little one isn't something that people really want to see. Maybe there is a viewer fatigue that makes news choosers go with political intrigue on the campaign trail rather than the suffering of people on the other side of the world. I don't know.

One problem here in the Phililppines is that typhoons hit here every year. This is the season. In 2009 Typhoon Ondoy hit Luzon with a fury not seen in decades. One encyclopedia tallied the loss of life at 747 and the damage at $1.09 Billion. And the thing of it is, that was one of eight typhoons and two super typhoons that hit that year. The human suffering just goes on and on.

Sometimes we worry that the needs of homeless children, like the ones we minister to, might be- come wearisome for people are constantly barraged with human needs. Children are suffering in many parts of the world. My brother Will is a board member of a fine organization, Feed My Starving Children, that sends food all around the world to help meet the nutritional needs of malnourished kids. One of my friends works with an organization in Kenya that takes care of orphans. There are thousands of good programs helping kids around the world, and the parade of needs just does not nor will not end. We will always be one ministry of many, voices in the huge chorus of appeals for attention to needs and gifts to make a difference.

As I reflect on this reality it makes me realize how dependent we are on a God who has the needs of all his children in his heart. Our job is to do the best job we can of taking care of the kids in Cebu who need us, using the resources that come to us with care and integrity. Our job is to spread the word about the needs that exist in our part of the world with honesty. God's job is to touch hearts and minds.

So we grieve with those in Manila who have lost loved ones and houses. We weep with those who weep in Haiti. Our hearts fill with compassion for orphans in Africa and hurricane victims in the United States. And in the midst of those emotions, we put another meal on the table for the kids under our care, nurse sick kids, prepare school lessons and provide counseling and spiritual guidance to those whose lives have been affected by abandment, neglect and abuse.

Walking the Line

Seems like we're always walking fine lines at CSC. We want to protect our children from the negative influences of the world, but not shelter them from the realities. We want to give them nice things but not spoil them. We want them to like CSC and learn to love those who are caring for them, but we also want them to be excited about leaving us when the time comes for adoption. In the area of fund raising and promotion, we want to work hard to communicate with our donors and find new people to support the ministry. But we also desire to have faith in God to provide and recognize that all good things come from Him.

In my role as a "senior missionary" here in Cebu (I've probably been here as long or longer than any missionary I know), I often get asked for advise from those who would like to start a ministry like ours. I have probably had at least 50 conversations over the years with people who felt a leading of God to work with homeless children. Most of these ideas never got off the ground, or started and fizzled out. To summarize, these failures, if I can use that term, resulted from one of two reasons. Either the people in mind didn't want to work within the priorities and parameters of the government system here in the Philippines, or they did not give proper attention to their support. By failing to do the former, they were always at odds with the department of social welfare concerning requirements for licensing or for the type and quality of services that they will offer. The government has requirements for agencies having a board of directors, proper funding, well thought out ideas about programs and services and area of coverage, and proper staffing including one or more licensed social workers. In the area of support, some prospective ministries never got off the ground because they couldn't come up with the funding, or they withered and died because of insufficient resources.

These two areas, conformity and funding, are "fine lines" that we have to walk. We have our sense of calling to a certain type of ministry, and we have principles and core values that are non-negotiable. But we live and work in another country, and this country has different ways of setting priorities and allocating resources. They have different ways of looking at child caring work, and they represent the legal authority and maintain the ultimate custody of the children under our care and set the rules for adoptive placement. We must work within their system and be transparent about how we care for the children. We need to cooperate, make some compromises in certain areas, and show that we are willing to work within the basic system.

In fund raising, we walk the line between faith and work. We ask God to provide for the children He loves. We take prayer and faith seriously at CSC, both for the ministry in Cebu and for the funds needed to support it. Sometimes the rub for some organizations has to do with the nature of faith. I remember a guy here in Cebu years ago who believed that any fund raising effort exposed a lack of faith. Either you're going to believe that God will provide or you aren't. He cited the writings of George Mueller, who believed that God could be trusted to provide for the thousands of orphans under his care in England in the 1830s.

My goal is not to criticize those who believe this way or run their organizations according to these kind of principles. They are certainly often strong, idealistic, brave and faithful people whose primary purpose in ministry is to glorify God. And their beliefs about faith help us understand the dangers of relying on ourselves and forgetting God in the financial provision and management of our programs. At CSC, we believe that God is the ultimate provider, that He chooses to provide through his people, and that he is honored by the compassion and faithfulness of people who give to ministries like CSC. We work hard to inform people of needs and opportunities and to give the glory to God.

Yes, we walk the line at CSC. We work and we wait.

Would you do it all over again?

One of our former residents is here in Cebu for a visit. She spent some time with the staff and kids the other day and I was the one who brought her to where she was staying after a birthday party for one of the kids. She is a person who thinks deeply and asks penetrating questions. As we were driving along she asked, "Would you do it all again?"

That is a great question, and one that a person should think about before answering. I didn't. I just blurted out "Yes, for sure." It seemed like a no-brainer. We believe that God led us into this ministry and we would always want to think that we would follow that leading, again and again. And its been a good life for us here in Cebu. No question. We have had many difficult times over the past 32 years: financial crises, children who have died, natural disasters, disappointments and heartaches. But more true would be the good times, the joys and victories, the dedication of new buildings, graduations, recitals, celebrations, watching kids overcome physical and emotional hurdles.

After I dropped her off I thought about how I might have answered if I'd have thought about it for a day instead of answering almost as soon as the question was finished. The answer would still be "yes." But I would have a meaningful addition: I would tell her that she is both the questioner and part of the answer to the question. The joy of being a part of this ministry can be summarized this way: changed lives. We have had the opportunity to invest in young lives, to give them opportunities to learn, to be healthy, to have families, to get educated in some of the finest schools in the world, to have choices that never would have been possible if we hadn't brought them into CSC. The girl who asked me that question probably doesn't understand all of the motivations and rewards involved in our work. She likely doesn't know how we feast on the accomplishments and victories of our children. Maybe if I had answered her question more thoughtfully she would have a better understanding of what makes working at CSC such a delight.

Roles of all Kinds

I was looking at pictures of CSC in albums that Marlys has put together over the years. It is fun to see the kids that grew up at CSC and remember their stories and the fun we had with them.

It is also fun to see the adults in the pictures. It is amazing to me how many different people have visited Cebu over the years. Some came for just a few minutes to see our homes and the kids; others stayed for weeks, months or years. Some played bit roles in the story of CSC, while others have had major parts to play. As I think about the whole scheme of things, it is clear that God has provided just the right people at different times to perform different functions when it was needed most. Some heard about a financial need and met that need. In addition to the people who are regular supporters of the ministry, there are those who came onto the scene for only one gift in response to a situation that came to their attention. One guy, a Bethel college student, made a gift of $40,000 to us before we even left for Cebu that allowed us to purchase the house that we started with in 1979. That guy moved away and we have never heard from him since! Some friends of the ministry have been around for quite a while, but were needed for extraordinary situations that came up. Their help was crucial at the time, and afterwards, they returned to their supportive roles. A Northwest Orient pilot helped CSC in amazing ways when one of our kids, Jackson, needed to come to the States for surgery at a hospial in Texas. Years later I still shake my head and wonder what we would have done without his help at that crucial juncture.

In addition to our long-term staff members who have given many years of service to the ministry, there have been others who have served shorter terms. Kathy and Sned Flora, and Jeff Snyder didn't stay on our staff for more than a few years, but their contributions were great in helping the ministry get started back in 1979. Lynne Green was a staff member for a couple years. Alan and Rachel Lecher, Nora Dorsey, Michelle Peterson, Dawn Miller, Ben and Mari Bonnett and others taught in our school for a year or two. Others have come along for periods of time ranging from a few months to a couple years, helping out with the child care leadership or performing specific tasks that were needed at the time. Several people quit their jobs or took leaves of absence to join our staff and help us take care of the children in Cebu. On our very first furlough back in 1982 a couple named Joe and Kathy Graft took leaves to spend a whole year in Cebu to help out. Tim and Karen Erickson went to Cebu every 18 months for 16 years to provide free dental care to our kids. Doctors have come over to see our children. Teachers have helped with tutoring or done seminars with our teachers. One young lady came for a month to work with our therapist, giving ideas on the therapy program for our special needs kids. Teams have come to build, do camps with the kids or lead a Vacation Bible School program. A doctor came and delivered lab equipment to us and helped us set it up in our lab. Several college students did their internships in Cebu, helping at the school or with our computer system. One retired guy who was in Cebu working with another ministry spent a considerable amount of time with me, helping me learn how to use a computer. Choirs and drama troupes have stopped by to perform and share good times with the kids and staff. We've had clowns, mimes, acrobats, athletes, musicians, singers and dancers over the years, some of them excellent, others.....not so much! But they have been there to contribute something to the kids. And there have been many, many others who have used their time and talents for CSC.

Many people have helped in big ways without ever going to Cebu. One guy in Montana who worked for a medical equipment company got a very expensive brain shunt for us when a child faced a life threatening brain condition. Several years ago when funds were scarce we decided to sell bicycles in Cebu to raise money, and a group of men in Ham Lake acquired, stored and shipped the bikes to us. Ladies have made towels, diapers, bibs, blankets, clothes, puppets, toys, costumes and other useful stuff. One great friend of CSC who worked at a printing company got tons of stuff printed for free or cost by just asking his boss. Another guy set up our computer network in Cambridge during his spare time.

Among our many donors are friends who have given monthly for 30 years, and those who, like the guy mentioned above with the $40,000 donation, made just one gift to CSC. There are people who have hundreds of thousands of dollars for building campaigns, like Harry Schmidt of Canada, and those who perhaps gave a memorial gift at a funeral and never donated again.

It is overwhelming to think about all the great contributions of time, talent and treasure, and the people who have come onto the stage of CSC to play various roles over the years. Some, I confess, have been long forgotten, and the memory of others is only refreshed when perusing the picture albums. But I am thankful to God for all of them and what they have meant to CSC and to the kids we have cared for. Its good to reflect and to remember.

Banquet Musings

We put a lot of time and effort into our annual banquet. With virtually no exceptions, we feel that it is worth it. This year we had a splendid banquet where everyone did a great job and lots of people showed up and they gave generously. We had former residents presenting testimonies and poems. We had a video that explored our theme of "Take a Hand, Join the Family." We had a US Senator in attendance and the sibling group of nine whom she helped get adopted together in a fantastic family, who were also at the banquet. We had great music featuring Sam Butler and his family. And we gave an award to Tim and Karen Erickson, the volunteer dentist and his wife who went to CSC over the past 16 years to work on our kids' teeth.

It is amazing the number of people that it takes to do the job that we do with the children under our care. It takes many workers: child care workers, therapists. counselors, nurses, teachers, social workers, accountants, house parents, janitors, guards, drivers, administrative assistants and carpenters. It takes Senators, immigration officials, adoption agency personnel and embassy workers. It takes board members, US office staff, supporters and prayer warriors. It takes pastors and missions committee members. It takes adoptive families. I know I'm forgetting some people. Our banquet brings a lot of these people together. Our web site brings others in who cannot attend. How I wish that someday everyone who participates in the success of CSC could get together in one place so we could thank them and we could reflect together on just how great God has been and what joy we have experienced in being a part of CSC.

It has been a lot of fun and a great joy to be part of this ministry for the past 32 years. We have ridden the crest of the wave as God has continually taken us through challenges and tough times, and given us not only the basic needs of the ministry, but the desires of our hearts for the children.

Thanks for being with us for all or part of those years. Who knows how much longer God will allow us to be a direct part of CSC. But we will enjoy every opportunity to bless the children in Cebu and be blessed by them. Thanks and God bless you all.

Jenny's Latest Drawing

Jenny has been doing a lot of drawing lately at Anodyne Art Center, where she has been going for the past few months. This one is entitled "Food Chain," and reflects her interest in sharks, whales and other sea creatures. We are so proud of Jenny and her work! Enjoy.