Two weddings and a funeral

Christmas is a time of laughter, awe and hope. This is especially true around CSC. This year has been no exception. It is a time of many emotions, from the joy of giving and receiving gifts, to the awe of seeing the Christmas story portrayed with a manger scene that included live animals.

This has been an especially emotional Christmas season. We have already had two weddings, and tomorrow Marlys and I and other staff will attend a funeral. Two of our workers, Vanging and Jocelyn were married in the past few days, and it was fun to celebrate with them and their families. Another worker gave birth on the Christmas Eve. Another worker, Delia, received word on Christmas Eve day, shortly after coming home from her duty at CSC, that her husband was in the hospital after having a massive heart attack on his way home from work. He died a few hours later. So its been a time of laughs, tears, shock, joy and devastation, all in the past few days. And on a national scene, the Philippines celebrates Christmas with the backdrop of a huge volcano getting ready to blow and an equally volatile political situation in Mindanao.

As Christians, and as leaders of this ministry, we are called on to recoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. That often means riding an emotional roller coaster. Our workers are important to our ministry and their lives and families touch us in significant ways. So we dress up in our best clothes to attend two weddings and we go to the wake of a dear man whose death was a total shock to everyone, and try to offer comfort and support to a woman whose life has been turned upside down.

And God is there with us in all of these situations. He is Immanuel.

Mindanao Massacre

The other day 46 people were murdered in Mindanao. I'm not sure exactly what to say. It is beyond comprehension. 46 people were slaughtered just because they were going to file the election eligibility papers for a candidate for governor of a province in Mindanao, an island in the southern Philippines. The number included many women and some journalists. Some were beheaded. Many were shot and thrown in a mass grave. This was something that was planned and carried out with military precision, seemingly to help some politicians keep power in the region. This evil is beyond my ability to comprehend. Sorry I can not add a single meaningful insight. I'm numb.While we are used to ramdom violence during election seasons here, this was even beyond the wildest nightmares of even the most seasoned observers here.

The Life Changing Impact of CSC

Recently a wedding and a funeral wake reminded me of some of the ways that CSC has impacted individuals and families here in Cebu. We won't know the full significance of this impact this side of heaven, but I know that lives have been changed for the better and families given opportunities that they would never have otherwise had. Oh yeah, the wedding and the funeral.

E-Boy's wedding was a great even for the Martinez family. He is an employee of CSC, and has many family members who also work for us. In fact, three of his brothers, one of his sisters, two sisters in law and one brother in law all are on our payroll. His dad and another sister were formally working for CSC. Years ago, when we first arrived in Cebu, one of our neighbors in Bulacao told us of a baby boy who was dying in the government hospital. We went there to see him and learned that he needed some medicine and blood. One of our staff gave blood while others went and bought some antibiotics. From death's door little Jessie started to come around, and eventually he got better. Now he is 32 years old, and he is the brother of the aforementioned groom. Though assistance like this, and through the employment of many of their family members, CSC has had a huge impact on the Martinez family. They have risen up from destitute poverty to owning a small business in Bulacao. Family members have their own houses and families.

The other day we learned that our friend Erning Ochea had died. Ernie was formerly the caretaker of our land in CarCar and has been a friend of CSC for 30 years. One night in 1979 when we were making our rounds in the government hospital (before CSC had taken in any kids), we saw a lady crying at the side of a crib. He little girl was dying of pneumonia. She needed medicine that would have cost about $5. The family didn't have a penny to their names so she was standing there watching her daughter die. We bought the medicine needed, and found out that she had three more kids, just as sick, back in their little shack in a squatter village in Mandaue. Without thinking too much about what we were doing, another staff member and I comandeered a jeepney and went to their shack. We brought the kids and their father, Erning, to the hospital for treatment. Later, when the kids got well and the family went back home, we decided to move them out of that filthy slum to Bulacao, near where we lived at the time. Later, we gave them a job taking care of our property. When we eventually sold that land the new owners took them on, and we haven't seen too much of them for the past 15 years. When we heard that Erning died the staff went to their home in CarCar to see the family. It was an overwhelming time for us in remembering how God had brought us to this family, and to see how their lives have developed over the years. Rescued from sickness and despair they were given a chance to work and prosper.

There are big differences in the emotions of funerals and weddings, but both of these events provided an opportunity for me to see the ways that CSC has impacted people, quite apart from what we do with the children under our care.

Jenny's Work

Jenny continues to enjoy drawing and crafts. She recently made this drawing which she included in a newsletter for some of her friends. She writes many letters to friends and, occasionally, gets one in return. She doesn't really enjoy e-mailing, prefering snail mail. Envelopes from Jenny usually include a number of surprises! She loves to collect Barbies and to watch her two favorite shows: Full House and Little House on the Prairie. Jenny works two days a week at the Children of Hope School, helping out in the library putting books away. I will occasionally post pictures from Jenny on this blog. She is the real talent in the Healy family!

Facebook

I am a new and reluctant member of Facebook. I have wavered for some time. I initially signed up, then quit, then got back on board. I am not entirely comfortable with the whole FB culture. Maybe that is partially the result of my not living in the U.S. and not participating in the information/social networking lifestyle for so long. I have a hard time thinking that my circle of friends cares about my status at any given point in time, or what I think about pictures, games, etc. I'm trying, but I feel like I'm slipping away again. Too many friend requests to decide on. Too many former CSC kids to keep up on. Too many needy people. Too little time......

One thing that I've come to realize in my short FB stint is the ways that many former CSC kids rely on each other. I think that it is a good thing, usually. They are friends for life. They share their pictures, information and they interact. Sometimes they show off, brag and try to shock. I confess to finding some of this stuff very annoying and disappointing. I'm not easily shocked about anything, any more. But I'm fairly easily bothered by some of the stuff that FB has brought to my attention about the life choices of some of our former kids.

So I'm still trying to decide whether FB is for me. It is certainly a good place to keep up with my own kids and their families, and I've enjoyed reconnecting with some old friends. Maybe I just need more time to learn how to ignore the stuff that bugs me and enjoy the good things.

Hey, maybe that is a good life principle, in general.

A Sense of Place

The house that I grew up in was sold by my folks back in the 80s. We were already out here in Cebu at the time, but I remember the news giving me a kind of strange feeling. And when we went back to Minnesota on furlough and I drove by the old homestead, I remember feeling a little bit unsettled. That place had been the only one where we had all lived together as a family (with the exception of a year when we lived in Phoenix while my dad took a sabbatical). That was our home. Who are those people walking in an out as if it is theirs? Every time I'm in St. Paul I drive by the house, sometimes even going down the alley to look at The Hoop, our dillapidated garage that (thankfully) "they" have not felt a need to fix up and the yard where we played countless hours of whiffle ball. I guess I have a pretty strong sense of place when it comes to my childhood. We painted that house. We did pullups on the water pipes in the basement. I can still remember the smell of our sun porch and the dusty fruit cellar in the basement.



I wonder sometimes if our CSC kids have any of that. The other day the kids from our Eicher Home moved into the new Duterte Home. A few days later the Cherne Home kids moved over to the Eicher Home so their place can be repaired. For a couple days the Eicher Home was completely empty, and quiet for the first time in 18 years. Strangely quiet. I remember standing outside and reflecting on all the kids that we have helped raise in that home - the laughter and crying, the sounds of kids eating, singing, running up the stairs, playing, shouting and praying. That house, and the Cherne Home, too, has a lot of significance for me. The memories can be overwhelming at times, when I think of the kids who have been housed there, and have left for adoption or have gone other places. I wonder how they feel about that house, if their memories are as strong as mine.



In a few weeks a woman will be visiting us who spent time at CSC as a child. She is now about 35 years old. The house where she lived has been torn down in Bulacao. I wonder if she has any memories of that place, and if she'll feel sad that it no longer stands. I can remember how badly I felt watching that place go down hill after we sold it and to learn that it was torn down to build a new house. I remember so many of the kids that lived there with us, back in the day when all the kids and staff lived together. I remember pulling kids around in our wagon, and our playground where they would run and play. I wonder if the kids remember that. Or maybe, there is something about their having been uprooted from their birth families that results in their not really developing a sense of place like I seem to have.



Pardon my notalgic rambling on a Sunday afternoon.

A Genius

Chris Hansen is a genius. He's the guy who designed our new web site. He's a genius for lots of reasons, but I'm thinking about his idea to put the staff blogs on the home page callout in order of their having been updated. The slogger bloggers will be embarrassed into updating regularly, and the competitive nature of some of the staff will be stirred. I'm already seeing it.

We have some very competitive people on the staff. I've seen a game of Yahtzee played with the intensity of the Superbowl by some people who I will not mention. So I think we'll get more blogging done which will make our site better.

Now Chris, if you can set up something for a quality of writing indicator........

My cousin

Well, actually, she is the daughter of my cousin, so what does that make her? My second or third cousin? Once removed? Anyway, Erin is here to visit us in Cebu, all the way from North Carolina. She is on kind of a world tour, visiting England, the Philippines, Australia and New Zealand. She is a delightful person who brightens up people's lives wherever she goes. I'm happy that she chose to come here.

It is kind of strange to be meeting a relative who I don't know. I met her years ago at a family reunion, but haven't seen her for years. That's the way it is for missionaries, I guess. Even my nephews and nieces grew up without their Uncle Paul around much.

One of the exciting things over the years for all of our staff members has been the visits of family. It is fun to show them the work to which we have dedicated much of our lives, and what goes on "behind the scenes" to make CSC go.

One thing that I think visitors find interesting about CSC is the number of people who contribute to the work here. Stateside people tend to think of CSC as "Paul and Marlys's" or "Sandy's" or "Mitch and Ruth's" ministry. When here they see the valuable work of our social workers, our nurses, teachers, child care workers, houseparents, handymen, office workers and counselors. Erin has had a chance to see many of these folks in action, using their time and talents for the sake of the kids. She accompanied our Supervising Social Worker Carmelita to visit a group of siblings who we are considering admitting when our new house is ready. Being a nurse herself, she has spent a lot of time hanging out with the nurses and seeing the various medical jobs that they do. She has spent time with the children and observed the workers taking good care of them. She has been up at school to see the kind of education we provide them. And she has been able to hang out with the staff in various settings.

Most people can't actually visit CSC. So we want to do the best job possible of helping them feel as if they have been here by the way we present the ministry, especially on our web site. We are always look for ideas of how we can bring CSC "to life" for visitors to cscshelter.org. It helps to see the things that our visitors find especially interesting when they are here. It also helps to query our internet friends about what they are looking for in a web site.

I'm open to your ideas and reactions. Better yet, come on out and visit us in Cebu!

What we tell them

Yesterday some of the staff got up super early to watch the Twins play the Tigers for the American League Central title. It was a great game and it went into extra innings. We were watching at the school, and the kids arrived before the game was over. So we let them watch. We are just about all Minnesotans on the staff so we were cheering pretty aggressively for the Twins. Before long the kids were joining us, cheering for a sport that they do not know much about and for a team that they know nothing about. Because we were.

This got me to thinking about the responsibilities of being people of significant influence in kids' lives. They follow us. They believe us. They imitate us. If we say the Twins are the greatest they will buy that. If you ask most of our kids about their favorite state in the U.S., they will answer "Minnesota" without hesitating. They have heard us talk about our home state and they have met a lot of good people from there. We are the closest thing to family that our kids have at this point in their lives, so they feel connected to Minnesota, and, it seems, the Twins, in ways that are at the same time heartwarming and a little sad.

Some day many of these kids will be adopted and join families in countries around the world. Some of them will become Americans. Some will live in Minnesota and others will join families in other states, with other home teams. And then they will take the cue from their adoptive parents about which team is best. And eventually, they will make up their own minds about these and other more important matters, and pass those values down to their own children. But for now, they are watching us and learning.

Our Best Man

Before you start reading this I want to say this: this is one of the coolest stories I can remember around CSC. It is heartwarming and I'm sure I could not tell it to you face to face without my voice breaking up. This is about Jacob, our Best Man.

A couple years ago a guy named Bong was one of our therapists at Children of Hope School. He worked with Jacob and the other kids with special needs. He had a special bond with Jacob who suffers from cerebral palsy and is very limited in his movement. Bong eventually left us to work in Australia, but he has kept in touch. Recently he showed up back in Cebu with the news that he is getting married later this month. But the big news for everyone at CSC was this: Bong asked Jacob to be his best man. Sandy Swanson was there when Jacob got that news and she reports that he was so excited that he could not contain himself! Like usual when he gets excited, he goes stiff, but this time it was because of happiness, not discomfort. He shouted out with joy.


I don't know if you can get a sense for what something like this does for a guy like Jacob. I'm not sure I can really grasp it. Imagine: Jacob was chosen! He is valued in a very significant way by a friend. On Bong's most special day of his life, he wants Jake to be there. Jacob, whose disability rarely allows him to be in the spotlight, will be up front in the wedding party. He'll be dressed to the nines. For the days leading up to the event he'll be a center of attention as we discuss his attire, where his wheel chair will be placed and where he'll sit at the dinner. He has not stopped smiling since he talked to Bong. And neither have we! I keep thinking that this is one of the cool stories of CSC. An inspiring friendship and an acknowledgement of just what a great guy Jacob is. This will be one of the biggest days of Jacob's life.


I'll try to post something after the wedding with some pictures. I want you all to share in Jake's big day.

Interesting?

We have been living and working in Cebu for 30 years. This is the only real job that I have ever had. One of the things about living away from the U.S. for a significant period of time is that I often feel culturally out of sorts in relation to America. I feel more and more estranged from the younger generation. The touchstones aren't there, I guess. I have never seen a single episode of American Idol or Dancing With the Stars. For that matter, I guess I'm out of touch with their parents, too, as I never saw Seinfeld or any of the popular shows of that era. I'm not on Facebook or other social sites. I'm not as informed politically as I need to be and I don't really know what is "in" and what is "so 90s (or 80s or 70s)." I'm more or less a dinosaur.

One of the practical results of finding myself out of touch is that I'm not at all sure at times what might interest people about CSC. I have to remind myself that the things that I feel are important, interesting or newsworthy might not be what turns other people on. As I think about items for the CSC website or newsletter I often wonder if I'm hitting the mark or not. What is it about CSC that makes people want to get involved? ? For people who have tons of information available at the click of a mouse, what is it that gets through to them and touches their hearts?
What chance do I have of reaching the younger generation and inspiring them to give?

Those are tough questions for a Monday afternoon. I'm glad that we have some younger people here in Cebu helping out with the ministry. They offer new perspectives on promoting CSC. They are used to getting their news and information on-line, for instance. They understand contemporary Christian music. They know how Americans keep connected. They can help us be relevant.

So we move on, faced with the questions that new blood brings to the ministry. Do we need to have a presence on Facebook, YouTube or Twitter? How should our new web site look? How can we present our message electronically but keep our supporters who are not on-line happy and updated? How can we best translate our work in the lives of these kids in Cebu into interest and giving from people in the U.S.?

These are some of the questions of the day. Thanks for reading them.

Timelessness

We've got this young guy working with us here in Cebu. He is Andrew and he is helping back up our records. His days are filled with scanning pages from children's files and putting them on dvds. He is also putting vhs tapes on DVDs. He's a fairly new graduate of the University of Minnesota and a really great guy. I like his sense of humor, his willingness to be a servant and his enthusiasm for CSC.

For the past few months we have spent time together getting to know each other. Our ages are pretty far apart - 22 and almost 55! We have different tastes in music, are miles apart politically and have banks of experiences and insights that vary significantly. But we both like baseball. We follow the Twins closely and enjoy talking about the ballclub. One of the endearing things about the game of baseball is the way that it bridges generations. The game has changed very little throughout its history. The dimensions, rules and purpose of the game is largely the same for someone who came to know it when Andrew did and for my generation.

I guess that leads in well to another thing that Andrew and I both love: CSC. Although we are involved in the ministry in very different ways, and have different perspectives on our history, we both find being around the children to be exciting and meaningful. We can find lots to talk about when we discuss the kids, their needs and potential. The things that separate us are not very important when we're talking about one of the kids in the hospital, an upcoming adoption, or some of the emotional struggles that a child might be having. Our ministry is attractive to people of all ages, backgrounds, political parties, denominational affiliations and other interests. It brings people like Andrew and me together, as well as hundreds of other people who would otherwise not meet or find significanct common ground. God bless CSC!

Sense and Nonsense

My cousin Jan used to have a company called Sense and Nonsense. It was a great name because it accurately reflected her approach to the work that they did. In many ways that same name describes life at CSC. Today is a good example. Earlier today, Joel Reasoner, Andrew Merkoris and I met to discuss the Reading Challenge that will be held during the first quarter of this year. Last year we had some challenge stipulations to encourage the kids to read: Joel would ride a water buffalo and I would be thrown in a swimming pool. Of course, the kids won! So we were discussing some more motivational devises for this year: head shaving, eating gross things, etc. Entertaining the kids requires a lot of nonsense!

Later today our staff will be meeting to talk about some very important matters concerning the adoptive placement of our children, as well as referrals and decisions about our new facilities. This will be far reaching and very significant stuff. We need to think clearly and to act in accordance with God's will for the kids and the ministry.

There you have it! Within a few hours we're tossing around ideas about having someone wearing one of those rubber Sumo wrestling suits do a "big splash" on Andrew's stomach, and deciding about which children to consider for adoptive placement. Sense and nonsense. Its one of the things that I love best about working here in Cebu.

I can remember in Kindergarten Miss Linden would tell us, "Okay students. Put on your thinking caps." We would pretend to strap them on and she would start asking us questions that required thinking. At CSC we are constantly transitioning from putting on thinking caps to donning silly hats.

We're Here and There

Several conversations that took place here in the CSC office the other day, indicate the nature of our lives here in Cebu. As I was walking into the office Andrew Merkouris was just leaving, but he stopped to give me the Twins score. (He had been listening on the internet and knew I'd be interested.) Later, Amy Luck, who was leaving the next day for the U.S. for her year of furlough, was mentioning the restaurant in Fargo where she would eat when she got there. Sandy Swanson stopped by to give me an update on her sister's surgery. The staff members here in Cebu function in two worlds. Cebu is where we live and work. We have adopted this as our second home, and we have learned to function well in a place that is very different from what we were used to. We have our homes and families here, and we are immersed in the culture and the ministry. But we are also emotionally involved in life in the U.S. We have families and good friends there, and we are interested in news from the home front. We call, we e-mail, we Skype. We care about important news, and even seemingly mundane things. Did Crede get any hits? What did mom cook for dinner on Sunday? How is Val doing? Is Joanne out of the hospital yet? I guess you could say that we have our feet planted on both sides of the Pacific Ocean.

Our great staff

I am proud of our staff. They are all hard working, compassionate and fun-loving people who invest their lives so freely in our children. The love that they have for these kids is the foundation on which everything is built at CSC.

Yesterday we had a staff meeting to discuss a referral. The issues in considering a referral are available space and our ability to meet the emotional needs of additional children. The children being considered for admission, three siblings aged one month, two years and four and a half, include one that is very malnourished. We know from experience that every day matters with these malnourished kids. So our decisions are difficult ones. They have life and death ramifications. We have a lot of younger kids these days, so taking in three more would be difficult. But our staff members have so much compassion, and have seen so many of our kids make tremendous recoveries from sickness and malnutrition, that we really want to be able to help. I wish you could see them in action, considering various options, looking ahead to children who will be leaving for adoption, and feeling the pain and despair of these three kids.

The same story has been acted out so many times over the years. It is never an easy matter to decide to admit new children, particularly those who are sick or may have developmental delays. We aren't always able to say "yes" to referrals that we receive. But we always give it our best shot. This is a great group of people that I have the pleasure to lead here in Cebu!

A dear friend finishes strong

Yesterday Marlys and I had a phone conversation with a friend who is dying of cancer. We thought that maybe we could cheer him up by calling him from Cebu. 20 minutes later we were shaking our heads, totally swept away by our brief interaction with this man. We were the ones lifted up! He gave astounding evidence of faith, assurance of salvation, joy in life and love for his family, friends and Lord, in spite of his rapidly deteriorating health condition. He asked about the ministry and the children and praised us for the work we are doing. He said, "Isn't it amazing what God has done at CSC over the years?"

Let me tell you a little about this man. More than 20 years ago his daughter and son-in-law adopted three children from CSC. He was a CSC grandpa, and became interested in the ministry. He went to bat for us with his church missions committee, presenting the ministry to them and encouraging the church to get involved. As a result of that advocasy, his church became part of our support team, and has been a great blessing to CSC in many ways. I was so happy to tell him that the church will be sending a team to Cebu for the third straight year. His willingness to tell others about our ministry helped bring much joy and hope to children, kids like his grandchildren.

My friend is finishing strong! In closing out his earthly life, he is taking joy from the relationships and involvements that God has given him. I'm happy that being a part of CSC has brought him happiness and fulfillment over the years, and especially, at this time of his life. He gave to the ministry financially, he told others and got them involved, he raised a daughter who would open her heart and home to adopted kids, he had a chance to visit the ministry, and he was a source of encouragement to the staff over the years.

I thank God for this dear man, and I pray that, at the close of my life, I will find the same joy from the things that I have invested in.