Sorry.

The other day I was traveling back to Cebu from a day of work in Manila. I got in the check-in line to get my boarding pass, but the line wasn't moving at all. At each of the seven counters the person was staring blankly at the screen. Each counter had a "trainer" helping the person. The trainers were also unable to understand what was going on. I learned later that Philippine Airlines was putting in a new computer system. Unfortunately, they hadn't done any training, even of their management people, so it was a big fiasco. I was afraid that I would miss my flight, so I made an inquiry, and I got snapped at by the person in charge. Nobody ever apologized about the poor service and the interminable wait.

When we arrived in Cebu the plane was taxiing to the gate, but it stopped and we sat there. And waited. For 35 minutes. The pilot made one announcement about another plane being in our spot. Then nothing more. No apology for making us wait so long.

It used to be that the service industries, at least, would offer apologies to try and placate their customers. It seems that this is changing. But I think it is  more difficult for people, in general, to say they are sorry for anything. Maybe it is a bi-product of our litiguous times, when any admission of guilt or culpability seems like a prescription for a lawsuit. Insurance companies tell us that if we have an accident we are to keep our mouths closed and admit nothing. When I sit in an aisle seat in the exit row, a lot of people pass by me on their way to the bathrooms. I routinely get bumped or tripped over. Sometimes I get hit pretty hard. Rarely, if ever, do I get an apology, even from the flight attendants. Recently a guy was getting something out of the overhead bin and it fell on my head, opening up a gash. Did I get a "sorry?"  Nope. It was like it never happened. Why did I have to be sitting there at that exact moment, any way?

As we become more and more self-indulgent as a society, we become less polite and less kind. Less likely to admit guilt. Less likely to admit guilt or say we are sorry.

A common response to this type of thinking goes like this: "Why should I say I'm sorry when I'm not? That's hypocritical." True. But I think the point is that God would want us to feel sorry if we bother, hurt or inconvenience someone else. "Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another." Theologian Albert Barnes writes that "Christianity produces true courteousness, or politeness. It does not make one rough, crabby, or sour; nor does it dispose its followers to violate the proper rules of social contact. The secret of true politeness is "benevolence," or a desire to make others happy; and a Christian should be the most polite of people. There is no religion in a sour, misanthropic temper; none in rudeness, stiffness, and repulsiveness; none in violating the rules of good breeding." If we focus on kindness in our dealings with others, we can avoid what Barnes refers to as  "hollow-hearted politeness." Our courtesy, our saying "sorry" is to be the result of love, good will and a yearning for the happiness of all others.

Of course, the other part of the verse I started above finishes the thought. "Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave.: Eph. 4:32.  That's the hard part because, even if I've been hurt, delayed, wounded, angered or annoyed, even if a person so obviously in the wrong fails to acknowledge their negative actions and say "sorry," I need to forgive that person. I need to forgive Philippine Airlines, not just as an institution, but each person who I dealt with. That's tough stuff. And if I fail to do this I should be the one saying "sorry" to them!

There is a hollow-hearted politeness, indeed, which the Christian is not to aim at or copy. His politeness is to be based on "kindness;" His courtesy is to be the result of love, good-will, and a desire of the happiness of all others; and this will prompt to the kind of conduct that will render her conversation with others agreeable and profitable.